


Unspoken Confessions under Maple Skies

by MrSadisticNight31



Category: Free!, free - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Colors, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Inspired by Music, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, One-sided Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Sad, Song: Ocean Eyes (Billie Eilish), Tachibana Makoto is a Sweetheart, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28402560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrSadisticNight31/pseuds/MrSadisticNight31
Summary: Until the sea meets the land, they would be tied together. Even if Haruka is the only who knows that. Or so it seems.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Tachibana Makoto/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 3





	Unspoken Confessions under Maple Skies

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this under the influence of painkillers. Don't @ me. Enjoy. Warning: Excessive use of color imagery.

He realised that when he closed his eyes, he could feel as if he was part of the body of water itself, the salts entering his skin, encompassing him fully. But he couldn't see the hues of navy and viridescent that merged to form a color that he couldn't fully describe in words. He yearned to glimpse at it.

His eyes opened. And he saw two emerald orbs peering at him, a hint of gold present in them, painting a scenery of sunlight filtering through the trees. He blinked blearily. The other's face became clearer and he cleared his throat.

"I was worried for a second that you had fallen asleep in the ocean." The sandy colored hair man in front of him chuckled.

He didn't say anything as he swam together with him to the shore. It had gotten dark which meant that he had spent ample time. No wonder Makoto seperated himself from his partner and came to look for him. That was all there was to it.

"You know, Nagisa wanted to wait for you so then we could all eat together but I knew you would probably take longer so we ate."

"Didn't feel like it." He knew his response was curt but that was how he always was. It wasn't anything too out of the ordinary. Even if his own voice sounded hollow to him.

To his surprise, Makoto stayed quiet. Then, instead of getting out of the water, he stood still, the water coming up to his waist and turned to face him. The sun had just set, with its last rays dying by each minute, the sky a scenery of red and violet that clashed together. Somehow it aptly described his conflicting feelings that he had been surpressing since the past two years. There were no clouds.

Both of them were scantily clad and as the sea was starting to cool off, they had unconsciously moved closer to each other to seek warmth. And in the dying light, he could see the contours of his face and somehow, the darkness made his irises brighter. The eyes that previously seemed emerald, gleamed with a luster as if he had captured the sun in his eyes. But it was his serious expression that made him itch- he didn't think that expression suited his friendly natured friend. Ha. Friend. He had to remind himself of that.

  
He sighed, his muscles relaxing yet he looked more tired than before.

"Look, I know most of us are busy with stuff which is why I asked us all to go on a vacation. I thought I knew you but now... What are you thinking?"

He didn't know what to say. But he knew he couldn't say anything even if the weight of those words was threatening to tear his throat apart.

So he looked away, avoiding his strangely pierce gaze and said,

"I'm stressed."

He knew that wasn't enough and he should elaborate but it was the only way he knew how to describe what he was feeling without deliberately lying to his best friend.

"If you want me to believe that, fine I'll do that. But just so you know, I- we're all worried about you, Haru."

I don't want any of you to worry about someone like me. I don't need it. I don't...

But I think I need you to tell that you worry about me. That you care for me. Because that means you're thinking about me. Even if it's not in the way I want you to think. But I'm not greedy for more.

It didn't sound like him. Even if that was all he wanted to yell at his face. His stupidly sculpted face with eyes that looked as if they could hold the deepest part of the ocean.

He looks at him again. And he closed his eyes. And he felt the sea again. It calmed him. The sound of crashing waves reached his ears, soothing his trembling soul. He had to be resilient.

"It has nothing to do with you guys. Let's go back."

Lets go back to the way we were when I could feel your torso pressing against my back without having a storm chasing me in my mind. Let's go back to the time when you told me you loved me and I could see the golden specks in your irises reflecting the city lights. Let's go back to the time when you would save me from drowning in my own pool of misery.

"Yeah, let's go back." and he knew they couldn't.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He knew Haruka was losing passion in everything again but this time, there was no Rin to save him. And Makoto didn't think of himself as a saviour but he knew he had to do something. So he called them all in. Akira had also been complaining that he had been working too much so if nothing, at least it could appease her.

He didn't realize that it would make Haru even worse than he was before.

He would stay in the pool for hours and after it closed, he would go down to the sea and simply float aimlessly. He wasn't even swimming anymore. It made him ache, like all those times when he saw him indulge in self destructive behaviour. He wanted to cry even though he was too old for that.

And so he excused himself and went to look for the raven haired man whom he found further away from the shore, his eyes closed, his skin glistening under the last rays of the sun, painting him in red and viridian, like an abstract art he could once comprehend. But even now, he was beautiful.

His phobia had improved over the years and so with little hesitance, he stepped into the slightly cooler water, his clothes sticking to him like a second skin, as he swam towards the almost lifeless body. He knew not to worry though.

A few seconds later, his eyes opened, and with their proximity, he once again admired how unreal his sapphire orbs looked, with the gem paling in comparison even though they had lost the gleam they once had, when he was swimming freestyle. He looked restrained. As if he was holding himself back. He couldn't fathom the reason.

He noticed him stating at him quietly, like he did quite often these days. He didn't mind it. He didn't think too much of it. And if he dreamed of being surrounded by blue, he blamed it on the blueberry cupcakes that Akira usually made (even though he could barely eat them and threw up afterwards).

To break the awkward silence, he tried saying something he normally would. He hoped he didn't come off as nervous. Why would he be nervous. They had always been together. Perhaps it had been longer since they were alone like this but they were still friends, right?

He knew Haru never made small talk but his responses sounded irritated. And so he stopped. And he turned to him to ask him why but when he saw the hues of the sky hitting his skin directly, he felt something getting caught in his throat.

He was ethereal. The colors blended on him, as if he was a canvas made out of glass. He looked vulnerable and he suddenly had a strange urge to hold him so that colors wouldn't spill like an overflowing sink. Haru was never meant to he monochromatic.

Noticing the forlorn look in the blue orbs, he asked him what he wanted to. He didn't sound like himself. But then, what was he like?

What were they like?

His responses were short and he could sense there were layers of underlying meaning in his short phrases but suddenly he felt tired. He wished his friend didn't hide so much from him. He worried about him. But why couldn't he say it?

"It has nothing to do with you guys. Let's go back." And somehow he understood that Haru wasn't merely talking about going back to the hotel they were staying in. But the past was different. And he would prefer not going there. When the sight of his skin made him feel things that he wasn't supposed to feel. When he could find every excuse to touch him, just to feel that he's real.

They had different lives now. And he wanted it to remain that way although his heart yearned to see him smile just one more time because of him.

So he took refuge in how when they looked at each other, their eyes formed the color of the sea that couldn't be described in words alone.


End file.
